So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
