she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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