I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize