All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
