who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You ate ashes out of my bong
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
