We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He passed out mid-signature
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
