Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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