i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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