so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
