I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
