I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
how does that bad decision feel?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize