And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
