...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize