i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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