He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
