it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
40s are totally the cure
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
