yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we're so committed to being not committed
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
