she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
