There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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