Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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