Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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