He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
