Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I touched a dick in church today
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize