Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
