Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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