You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
