i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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