Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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