I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
