It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
