Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
