I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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