it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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