at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
