Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize