I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
bring money and cleavage
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize