No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
