I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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