I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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