Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You pole danced in your parka.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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