I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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