i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
