these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
