hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
