On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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