there was a trapeze. enough said
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
