she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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