Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
