Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Nicole vs. Life
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
