Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
