you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
