Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Randomize