That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She bit a glass in half.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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