Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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