so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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