You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
