You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
