Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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