I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
