it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
