I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
