I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
