and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
